No Time for Bullshit T-Shirt

The t-shirts we use are soft and the perfect weight, not paper thin but also not heavy and hot. Think Goldilocks-approved, “just right” without the breaking and entering.  

Our crew and v-necks are side seamed to to maintain their shape over time.

100% combed and ring-spun cotton tees are the norm but we've got a few comfortably contrary blends that manage to stay just as soft:

• Ash adds in 1% polyester,  
• Athletic Heather and Black Heather add in 10% polyester and 
• Other heather colors add in 48% polyester.

Our t-shirts feature unisex sizing but everyone has their own definition of the "perfect" fit.

We have 2 tools to help you to find the fit you want. First, use our Size Chart to narrow down your choices. Then compare the look you are hoping for with our Fit Guides to make sure you've got it right.

Remember -- size is irrelevant; comfort and joy are what matters. 

Suggestion: Turn your shirt inside out before washing so the design colors don’t fade. 

Almost Too Basic to Include: 

• Machine wash with cold water and similar colors. 
• Tumble dry on low or air dry.

Don’t Be Stupid or Extra: 

• Don’t dry clean your shirt. 
• If you iron it, don’t iron the design. 
• If you dry clean or iron graphic tees, maybe re-consider your priorities.

Store policies can be painfully boring but no one likes surprises (especially when they don’t come with gifts and candy). We’ve put together the highlights below and provided links to the full policies if you want more detail. You're welcome. 

Free Shipping (linked): All US orders of $50+ get free shipping! 

Timing (linked): Your order will ship 3-4 days after you place your order (1 day to process, 2-3 to print), and should arrive 2-4 days later. That grand total of 5-8 days relies on an estimate from the US Postal Service and/or UPS. 

• These are e-s-t-i-m-a-t-e-s. Shipping services can experience holiday and weather delays as well as fantastic displays of moronic behavior, both technical and human. 
• We do not control the weather or the processes of any company other than our own. 
• If you have not received your goodies within 10 days of placing your order, please reply to one of our emails or reach out at support@thecrankycupcake.com.

Returns (linked): All purchases come with a 30-day guarantee.

• We will pay to fix damaged or defective items. Doesn't happen often but perfection is unachievable (no matter what the influencers say). 
• Wrong size or changed your mind? Send back your item (unwashed and unworn, of course) and we will replace it with another size, color or design. Just contact us first and let us know how to make it right. 

Privacy (linked): The information you give us when you order or subscribe will remain with The Cranky Cupcake. We don’t sell data, share data, or buy data. 

Terms of Service (linked): Attorneys were definitely paid by the word for this one. If you are having trouble sleeping, this may be the perfect read for you. 

• We design a shirt, you buy a shirt, we send you that shirt, you squeal with excitement when you receive that shirt and your life is better every time you wear that shirt. 
• Sometimes things happen that make this incredibly simple process a total cluster. We promise to fix issues with integrity and hope that you will do the same. 

If there is something we can do to make a shirt even better for you, let us know.

Can’t promise that we can do it (or that it won’t cost a bit more) but we’re happy to discuss it.

Email us at support@thecrankycupcake.com and we’ll see what we can do.